Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Dear Morgan,

I managed to embarrass myself again.  I seem to do this at regular intervals. But I want to share this with you as it is quite funny.

I called in to drop something off at my friends work.  She’s a receptionist at one of the medical centres here. She’s also a great friend, with a great sense of humour and fellow photographer. I know a few of the others at this medical centre as well, all photography related, and it always seems such a great place to work – busy but relaxed, and lots of humour.

To give you somthrush1-01sm-Edite background, you know I love birds, and I have a resident bird in the garden who has been there for a while. Over the hot dry summer, I installed a small round swimming pool for it, and I loved watching it take a dip each morning and afternoon. At the end of January, I headed away for a week. When I came back my resident bird was no longer there. I wondered if another cat had picked it off, and I felt really sad. I had told my friend about the missing bird earlier in the week.

Anyway – this hot afternoon I was catching up with her at her work, and she was telling me about her daughters bird, and I suddenly remembered!

“oh oh – I said – guess what? – My Thrush is Back!” I said really excitedly. In my excitement I must have spoken just a tad loudly, and all of a sudden there was dead silence. I looked around and everyone was looking at me.  For a minute I wondered what I had said, then I realised I was in a medical centre and Thrush has a totally different meaning for them.  ‘The Bird – The Bird – Thrush – the brown bird” I said and everyone cracked up.

Heaven knows why they thought I’d be excited about the other kind of thrush!






One year later…

Posted: December 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

Dear Morgan,

A year has almost gone by again.  Rather rapidly too.  For some reason, earth years seem to go faster than the one on our planet.  Humans put this down to getting old.  I’m glad I’m not human!

I remember on our planet, that  one whole year would drag on and on.  A quarter into a year I used to ask – Is it Christmas yet?  On earth, it comes up so suddenly, that I suddenly realise that I have one day to buy presents on the 24th December!

This year marks my first Christmas away from Planet Auckland.  No crazy crowds shopping in malls.  Just quietness, punctured by the cat bringing in her pre-christmas gift wrapped in rabbit fur.  No traffic jams.  No being hit in the head by a bolt of material.  No sitting in queues at the supermarket that are so long that owners bring round lollies.  No grumpy people – everyone is all smiles.  It’s quite pleasant actually.  I could get used to it.

I decided also to dye my hair blonde.  On earth, blondes are meant to do dumb things, and sure enough, it didn’t take long for the blonde roots to grow into my brain, and once there,  blonde behaviour set in very rapidly.

I got up the other morning, thought I had left the tap on all night watering the vege garden.  I leapt out of bed, and in PJs and barefeet, opened the ranch slider of my room, and went out to the Vege garden.  Everything was soaked, everything wet – and I was thinking – Stupid me – leaving the tap on all night.  Got to the tap.  It was off.  I rubbed my eyes – yep – everything is wet.  Checked the tap again.  Then realised that it was pouring with rain and I was standing out in it.

It’s probably just as well I sleep in PJ’s and not nude!  The rabbits in the vineyard would never have been the same!

I shudder to think what else is in store for me in the next few months of being blonde!

I hope your year as an earthling has been good to you.  If you can get the spaceship going – head down this way for a bit of a break.




I Know…

Posted: August 4, 2010 in Uncategorized

Dear Morgan,

I now know that my phobia is shared by other people. There are even photos of them to prove it. Not only can sharks infiltrate swimming pools filtration system, they can also get into paddling pools…

And a photograph NEVER lies! Ever! I think Lia should be more careful when doing her swim 10,000 and take preventative measures that she doesn’t get eaten at the Millenium Institute! She should be swimming with an electric cattle prod!


The Reason….

Posted: August 3, 2010 in Uncategorized

Dear Morgan,

This is my worst nightmare….

This is why Sharks can simply NOT be trusted. And see – they’re in a swimming pool!


Boredom and Oddities

Posted: July 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

Dear Morgan,

Today is day 23.  Day 23 of keeping my foot up all day.  Day 23 of sitting in one corner of the lounge with my foot up all day.  Day 23 of total absolute boredom.  I’m sick of reading.  I’m sick of TV.  I’m sick of computers.  I’m sick of the walking frame.  I’m sick of crutches.  I’m sick of my four walls.  I’d really like to get out and climb Mt Fishtail, or Mt Riley.  Or go skiing at Rainbow Valley.  Or throw snowballs.  There is nothing I’d like better than to cook a nice roast chicken.  Meals on Wheels just don’t cut it really.  Especially when you get three out of the five meals they supply, exactly the same.  Beef Casserole x3.  Sticky meat with mashed spud.  Ick.

I have 11 days left of plaster.  If it’s healed enough, the plaster will come off and I’ll have a bandage instead.  I’m hoping like hell it’s healed and I don’t have to have plaster again.

While stuck inside like this, I’ve been going through the junk mail and looking at the spring fashion, and planning some additions to my wardrobe.  I hope that there will still be clothes in the shop by the time I can get there.  I’ve also been looking at some bling.  Accessories.  You know – bracelets, necklaces, earrings, nose plugs.

Yep, you read that right – nose plugs.  I found them on the internet on one of my boredom forays.  They’re only used by older women now, but that’s okay, we’re both getting on in our years and I figure we may as well try them out.  I actually think they look quite cool…

These nose plugs are used by the Apatani tribe in India.  However, since 1970, they haven’t been put in anyone, so only the older women use them now.  They were put in to make themselves look ugly so other tribes wouldn’t come over and rape or kidnap them.  I wonder if we could get them in use here as anti rape kits?  It also brings to mind the words – true love.   If a man loves them, then they are loved for who they are and not what they look like.  It would certainly weed out what a man is marrying you for wouldn’t it?  Money!  I knew it!!

But I still think they’re kinda cool.  There is one question I have though.  What happens if you have a cold?  If you sneeze, do the plugs go flying out and hit people in the eye?  If your nose is running – where does it run out of?  And do they come in different colours?  Green?  Yellow?  Red?



Sharks in Pools

Posted: July 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

Dear Morgan,

The poem Lia wrote for you is so you.  It was hilarious.  Right down to the time keeping, personality, geekiness, nerdiness, and humour.  I laughed.    Told Lia I thought it was brilliant, and the next thing I found one in my email box for me which made me laugh even more.   I don’t barf with I laugh though like you.  So thought I would send it to you to read too.  Which has got me thinking.  Do you think we two should write one for Lia? I might have a go later today 🙂  I also now know why she’s swimming – read the last few lines…..

I can’t hear them coming, Robyn explained
I don’t want to get battered, beaten and maimed
And to avoid this, I have but one simple rule
I will never come swimming with you in a pool

I never knew a swimming pool could harbour such fears
As I have been swimming in said pools for years
I have always enjoyed swimming as a form of fitness
And such physical torture I have not ever witnessed

Not coming from the fear that Robyn explained
Of being battered, beaten  and maimed
But fears, we all have them, and avoid when we can
The things that stop us from a task at hand

For me, as a child, I was scared of the dark
For Robyn, in swimming pools, her fear is of sharks
Robyn is deaf, the very root of her fear
Is believing her deafness wont allow her to hear

A lone shark approaching her from behind
Even though, through my laughter, and tears I have tried
To tell her that there’s no exception to the rule
That no one can hear a shark swim in a pool

Not only this, but sharks swim in the sea
They need salt-water to live, not chemicals and chlorine
What about the size of the shark and the pool
There must have been very small sharks at her school

Cos our pool was only about 35 feet
Too small I would think, for most sharks to retreat
I’ve asked Robyn to swim with me sometime this year
As I swim 10,000 lengths for charity to quash all her fears

I have been swimming for 10 days with no sharks to be seen
Nor a dolphin, or Nemo, or other fish of the sea
So don’t try to listen for sharks that aren’t there
Simply let go of your irrational fear

Let your phobia fall on deaf ears tonight
And no more give in to the fright
There’s so much more to be enjoyed with the gift of your sight
Those male swimmers and their bodies are a pure delight