If You’re Friends with a Geek

Posted: July 27, 2010 in Arty Stuff, Fun, Humour
Tags: , ,

Dear Robyn,

Tonight I was talking to our wonderful mutual friend Lia, Lia, Lia (no idea why I call her that) on the phone and she read me this wicked poem she’d written for her friend Lisa to cheer her up (since Lisa has just had her leg amputated). It was all about the humourous benefits of missing a leg… it’s hard to think of any but she did! Ingenious. She really has a knack for doing nice things for other people – like swimming 10,000 lengths of the Millenium Institute pool this year to raise money to help the 10,000 people with Leukaemia (Story in North Shore Times here).  She’s bored today since she has the flu so she decided to write a poem about ME which is embarrassingly accurate and brilliant.

Thought you’d get good laugh out of this considering I have frequently

  1. Come to your house to visit YOU but ended up instead lying on your sofa/floor with Kass the cat on top of me snoring/reading a book/hijacking your laptop…. (well you would go and befriend an absentminded introvert…. not sure what Kassia’s excuse is)
  2. Come to your house to visit you but ended up hiding under the sofa with Kass because I am petrified of the kid’s cartoon movie on the tele….
  3. Turned up in the wrong century because I got lost in a time warp wormhole somewhere on my way over (read ‘got sucked into a Supermassive Library Blackhole’ on my way there – yes, they exist and are calibrated to be particularly magnetic to passing INTJs!)
  4. My ability to tell time (learnt this – finally – on a kiddies watch with 10 past, ¼ past, written on it when I was 29) is about as impressive as your ability to tell left from right (you’re still figuring this out aren’t you! Remind me never to give you directions while you are driving unless we want the car to go somewhere it wasn’t designed to go.)

Here’s the poem. I think it’s brilliant!

If you’re friends with a geek…

There’s is a lady that I know
Who is a self-confessed nerd
She talks so much that you’d be hard pressed
To get in a single word

She talks all day of aliens
Abductions, and sci-fi
She reads books about psychopaths
And will tell you your personality type

INTP, ESFJ, ISFJ and more
She’ll examine your personality
Until she can analyse no more

She’s a techno-geek, audiohead
Muse fan extraordinaire
She likes Rammstein and the Beatles
No similarities there

She writes her own songs
You should know that
But don’t let her sing them
In front of your cat
For she sings them with passion
Of her songs she’s so proud
But the cat will go running
From the singing so loud

And never ask my friend
The self-confessed geek
To meet you at any particular
Time of the week
For she cannot tell the time
And even if she could
I dont’ think that it’d matter
I don’t think that she would
For she goes by her own time
And I still don’t know what that is
Somewhere perhaps between your, her and my time, and his

But she will never be short of something to say
An opinion to give, and a laugh on the way
Just make sure that when laughing
A coffee she’s drinking
And she’ll barf it all up
Without even blinking

As for blinking, if you want her to simply close her eyes
Rent a movie and watch it, you might be surprised
You see, a phobia she has
Movies she finds scary
So turn on the movie
After her trip to the dairy
She’ll come 3 hours late with chips to share
She’ll put them in a bowl
Right in front of you there
But once the movie starts
With her eyes firmly shut
She won’t notice at all
If you eat them all up

She’s a loveable geek,
And very entertaining
She’ll fall asleep on your sofa
If outside it is raining.

I haven’t seen her for a very long time
But then if she can’t tell it
It’s her fault not mine
But then, alien time may be different you see
And perhaps the fault doesn’t lie with her, but me

So I will no longer suggest a time to meet
I’ll just wait, and I’ll wait, until I grow 2 more feet
I wouldn’t mind that you see
If the time she forgot
Because i’m not that attached
To the feet that I’ve got

Perhaps she’ll come visiting
On her spaceship one day
And she’ll take me to some alien planet far away
They can give me new feet, and a new language to speak
The benefits are endless if you’re friends with a geek.

Morgan 🙂

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