Good Inventions.

Dear Morgan,

I haven’t heard from you for over a week now and am getting quite concerned.   I know you get abducted by aliens on a regular basis but this is the longest you’ve been away.  Are you actually enjoying the anal probes now and don’t want to return?  Has an alien morphed into a sexy German and you can’t tear yourself away?

Anyway.  While you’ve been off enjoying yourself somewhere, I’ve been browsing on the internet.  There are all these weird and wonderful gadgets out there, but the one that caught my attention the most lately was the P-Mate.  This is a small invention that allows women to pee.  Standing Up!  I thought I would buy one here and give it a whirl, but no one brings them into New Zealand so I can only look at the product on the internet.  I’ve just found a ‘how to make one’ on wiki!  Now to find some cardboard! For those who are interested as well – you can find the instructions here.

The P-Mate was thought up by a Dutch woman who was very shy of going to the loo – and would take off into the jungle of Indonesia to make sure no one saw her pee.  When she came home she designed the p-mate and then went on national television and even demonstrated it.  I find this hilarious, one minute she’s too shy, next she’s peeing on national TV.   I couldn’t do that.  There is no way I can pee with an audience.  Don’t ask!  The thing I find most disturbing about this woman on National TV is she’s peeing into a beer glass.   I’ll never be able to look at a beer glass again without this image etched into my mind.

But hilarity aside, I think this is the best invention for women that I’ve seen.  Especially if you hate public loos.  Or caught out in the forest – I remember training for the Oxfam 100k walk and when we were walking in the forest for 7 hours at a time, how I wished I was a man, that could just duck behind a tree, then give it a shake!  Another time I was caught out was when I was out skiing.   Had to ski quickly to an ‘outhouse’, then practically undress to go to the loo.  It was freezing, and I just about got hypothermia.  It was so cold it was enough to give one piles.  I know I know TMI!    This would solve this problem easily.  The perfect ‘Ski-P-mate’!

With the P-mate, not only can you ‘stand by your man’, you can even give it a shake, just like the real thing!  Okay – that’s going a bit too far but you get the gist.

I’m about to go into plaster – this invention would help no end.  If you don’t see me around for a while, I’m busy folding up cardboard…

Cheers

Robyn